Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
