Christians are straight up FREAKS
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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