at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
