I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
