You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
