You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
