Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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