We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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