Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I would fuck him just for his dog
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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