Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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