Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
