I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I want a musical about memes.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
