In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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