She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize