$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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