u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
