never play flip cup with pint glasses
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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