He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
ttyl tear gas
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
