she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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