So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize