i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
