Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
