Your mouth is God's brothel.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
