Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
should my penis look like a turkey
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
