TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
