Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
