What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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