Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
