i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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