my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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