I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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