Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
