problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
