hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Come on in and take your pants off
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
