What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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