For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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