Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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