Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
