my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
