drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
