I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
