dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
