please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
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