If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
