He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I have tasted many bathrooms
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
