you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
