the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
