WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
