For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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