You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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