I didn't shave. On purpose
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
