i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
