He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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