Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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