i barfeds in our rink
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
