I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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