Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
