I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
