she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
