when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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