Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
