Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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