my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
