If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
