tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
