yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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