Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
