Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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