i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
