Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
