they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
